Tubes... where and when will you end up?

Aww the tube. I have mixed feelings, a lot like when you meet a hott guy, sometimes the conversation is fabulous and the next date, you just want to run, but can't cause you're stuck underground.lol. Hott guys are better then the tube. Coming from LA, the tube system is amazing. But after a month, one has to think "is sitting underground, in a close space with too many people, in a train that has a failed signal, really what I deserve out of a public transportation system. No! I deserve better. In my ideal world, the tube would run effiectently... EVERYDAY. and I would not have panic attacks, as I sit in slience for a prolonged time bewteen stations. Not knowing when I will see light again. However,I have come up with a plan to make tube friends... ie: people who in an a emergency( like the train broke down) will look kindly to my hysteria... because in life everything boils down to survival! Anyway, the easiest way to talk to people, is to comment on the book that they are reading. However, during rush hour, I talk to people in order for them to understand that I am small, and I hope (though it hasn't happened yet) that they will trade places with me, because otherwise i have nothing to hold to, and awkwarding bump into people when the train decides to move. The tube is another world, where only the strongest survive. As a petite, 5 foot 2 in person, i win with intellect, conversation and most importantly dirty looks. My looks are so amazing. That at clubs, people who accidently invade my space, apologize profusely. It is my super power.